August 30th 10:30 p.m.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a reader.....it's just not something I do.....call it ADD.....call it too lazy.....blame it on the fact that when I try to I fall asleep.....whatever the reason may be, I simply don't partake in this past time that so many people love to do and often yearn to do if they have free time. My buddy John, who lives in Florida, will read multiple books a month.....this is a life experience that I simply can't fathom! He even reads more than one book at once....It's madness I tell you....simply madness!!! My beautiful wife often chastises me for my adamant aversion to such a task. Being a non reader makes those few pieces of work that I have actually read that much more special to me. If I have actually taken the time to read them they must have had a pretty profound effect on me......and they have. Tonight's blog is inspired by just such a reading. Today in the NICU I found myself reflecting back on one of the few pieces of literature that I have actually willingly embraced (I pause for a moment to defend myself as an educated human being.......it's not that I have never read.....come on I did suffer through enough college to get my masters and did all of the assigned reading.......it's just that I haven't read much outside of the required reading realm in my life.......okay, let's just say you could probably count them all on one hand.....anyways). The piece of literature that I'm referring to is well know and most of you have read it......and if you haven't, there is a copy of it on this website http://teacherweb.com/NC/WilliamsTownshipElementary/CheriBarkley/AllIEverReallyNeededtoKnow.htm
It's entitled All I Ever Really Needed To Know I Learned in Kindergarten. If you haven't read it do so now....it's a quick read that will literally only take about two minutes. If I had one wish in the world it would be that every human being would have to follow this list. Anyway, I found myself reflecting on a specific passage within the piece of work. .......hold hands and stick together.... for me, today, in the NICU, it really was that simple. You see, today was a pretty good day. Both boys are doing okay....no major advancements.....no major drama......no boring specifics this blog.......this blog is about holding hands and sticking together. Our visit started out with Heather holding Tyler while I sat and kept her company. This lasted for about 45 minutes, until another rocking chair became available........that's when I decided I was going to try and hold Parker........holding Parker is a crap shoot......sometimes he handles it pretty well while other times you know not even to try.....he's just too fragile.....well today I cuddled with my little hero for almost 45 minutes.......he just cuddled into my arm and seemed at peace.....it was a great cuddle that made me feel great. A few hours later I was at Tyler's bedside, contemplating whether or not to hold him.......the decision for me to hold one of the boys is always tough.......I struggle with the debate of.....is this good for them or is it not good for them and it's me being selfish wanting to hold them at their expense......sometimes when you hold them they don't do well at all.......it's always hard to figure out......I decided it would just be a little too much after all he'd been through the past two days.....mommy had already had a great cuddle with him, he felt loved, and my desire too hold him could wait......so I just sat with him bedside.....I leaned on the crib rail which is pretty low......positioned myself as comfortable as I could......and just held his hand.....well really it was his whole forearm as he held my finger.......my other hand was on his head gently petting his head......at one point I needed to get up and adjust my seat....when I attempted this his little grip closed tighter around my finger......he did not want me to go......I pretty much melted.......any muscle ache that I had disappeared and you can bet your ass I didn't move.....for a very long time......you see all we both needed was to "hold hands and stick together".