I think this must happen to other parents who've spent as much time in the NICU as John and I have - the final weeks of the NICU stay start slowing down to snail's crawl and you can't believe how fast the 115 days in the NICU flew by and how terribly SLOW time seems to pass during the remaining days. It's as if the boys can feel it as well, like they know they shouldn't be there anymore. Trying to remain a patient parent has become my daily challenge. I'm being as accommodating as I can to get the boys closer toward that exit, but almost to a fault. For instance, I've been giving up my breastfeeding attempts to bottle feeding because I know the boys need to take EVERY feed by bottle (without the feeding tube) before they can be discharged. And today Parker was so tired but I continued to wake him up during his feeding time because I knew if he didn't take the entire bottle they'd put his feeding tube back in his nose, thus prolonging his stay. This is when I feel frustrated with myself for not being patient. Good intentions always - but why do I feel so guilty at the same time? There is no perfect timeline, is there? And no magical "patience" potion that I can take?
So this is where we stand today - an impatient parent who has nothing new to report because nothing new happened. Well, there were new gurgling sounds from Parker, new notice of Tyler's growing double chin, new warm fleece pajamas, and lots of new snuggles from the boys. And I guess a realization at this very moment that a lot of new, wonderful things actually DID happen today.