Started on Christmas Eve Finished on Christmas Day :)
I guess I shouldn't be so long winded:):)
Having my college degree pretty much guarantees one thing. It guarantees that I have a tremendous amount of information in my head that I will never have the need to nor ever want to access. The process of spending more than seven years in college to attain my teaching credential and master's degree means that I was exposed to more information that I ever wanted. It was a means to an end. The worst part is that most of the information I spent so much time and money learning has long since been relegated to the deep dark recesses of my mind, where I seriously doubt I could access it should I need to. Once in a while though, once in a great while, a little piece, a tiny morsel, a seemingly insignificant shred of information rears up and finds its' way into an active portion of my brain and becomes relevant. This next piece of information is an example of that exact process. I honestly don't even remember in which class it was conveyed (my apologies to whatever professor imparted this tid bit of wisdom) but I do remember a philosophy on cultural class systems very well. The theory is simple: you must have a middle class within a society or revolution is inevitable. You see, the vast majority of people in any society are destined to remain in the exact same social class as their parents. If you are rich, you will undoubtedly witness your children perpetuate the class system and achieve the same status. Poor people will see their children establish their roots in the same neighborhoods and with the same income level as they currently reside, etc. Of course there are exceptions to this rule and there are lots of examples of people who raise themselves above their parents socio-economic status. Conversely, there are those who drop to a lower class. However, the vast majority of people will continue in the path that their ancestors have established. Despite the inevitability of remaining in the same class, most people will not rebel against the society that they live in if there is a middle class. You see the theory the professor was outlining is one of Hope and Hard Work. As long as there is the hope that one can better themselves they will work within the constraints that have been established. If you work hard....if you commit yourself then you can make a better life for yourself. Nobody really analyzes the odds of whether this will actually come to fruition, and many people will not even commit to the process to make it happen. They will find happiness right where they are at. They will not need to make huge sacrifices and work all hours of the day and night to chase the "supposed" better life. They will find comfort and happiness being who they are.........But......if you take away the opportunity for them to do so.......if you tell them that there is no possible way that they can climb the class ladder should they decide to......well then that's a different story........."don't tell me I can't".......there has to be hope that I can should I choose to........hence the middle class. If a poor person was faced with being poor or rich, they would realize the leap to being rich is far too monumental and they would not perceive any hope.......devoid of hope, rebellion comes and thus revolution. Hope and Hard Work is the next chapter in the drama that has become our sons and their eating difficulties. Previously on "The Life and Times of Tyler and Parker" (okay, I've watched way too much TV in my life) we were once again facing the feeding tube for Tyler. The most recent delay came when we met with the dietician and the feeding specialist, who had us change the feeding regime. We tried that over the weekend.....to no avail.....feeds went down not up........both boys were now having issues......we resigned ourselves to the fact that Monday mornings appointment with the Gastro-Intestinal Specialist would show a further decline in weight gain and they would insert the tube. We were just hoping that they would do it in the office rather than sending us to the NICU to make it happen. We were done hoping.......done trying to avoid the inevitable......we had tried EVERYTHING and just not been successful. The appointment was over an hour and a half long........the outcome.........HOPE......yes HOPE. For the first time a doctor looked us in the eye and said "We can solve this......we can fix this problem" more importantly than the words was the simple fact that she knew exactly what we were going through. She knew, not only because she sees the problem all the time and treats it, but also because one of her twin boys had reflux issues. For the first time it seemed as if we weren't just trying something new that may work......for the first time she had a definitive plan that has worked before with children with the exact same problem. Suddenly there was HOPE. So for the past three days we have been experiencing the HARD WORK that goes with the hope. The first stages of the plan are actually pretty simple. Step 1: change the medication. IN her never ending research on line, Heather had just gotten done reading something that said that the biggest problem treating reflux is under dosing with medication. The specialist changed the medication and drastically increased the dosage. We thought this would be difficult considering the drastic increase in volume that they need to take, but we found a way to accomplish it. The hard work comes with Step 2: Change their formula ( yes, once again we are changing formula......which means I have to, once again, return a bunch of stuff to the store). This formula is so specialized that it can only be received through a prescription. The bad news is that it has a very adverse taste, that the boys reject even further. We are to slowly mix the new formula in with the old to get them used to it. Gradually increasing the ratio until they are on the new stuff completely. Putting myself through college while working 50 hours a week was hard...... I have spent many "all nighters" in my past trying to get things done.......during homecoming week each year I work four 20 hours days back to back.......I've done some pretty hard things in my life.......nothing compares to this.........Feeding the boys right now is easily the hardest thing I have ever had to do....period. Every three hours we have to feed the boys something that they instinctively don't want......that they reject......that they literally fight against......but it's the only way so we do it. Every three hours, we have to battle with the boys for over an hour to get as many calories in them as we can. The hope is this: after a few days the new medication will control the reflux, which will in turn make it easier for them to eat without experiencing acute pain.......which will hopefully begin to reverse the negative association with eating......which will hopefully allow their natural instincts to return......the instinct that tells them that hunger pains are positively resolved through eating. This is the HOPE.......the HOPE that we are clinging to.......the HOPE that becomes the cornerstone of the hard work.....the hardest work I have ever done........this is the HOPE that is preventing the revolution.........the partial metaphoric and partial literal revolution that I fight back every three hours.......you see without this hope.....without the middle class......I would drown in negativity and despair and would rebel.......there has to be HOPE.....hope that all of your hard work will have a positive outcome.....hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel......this hope is what we found in the GI specialists office on Monday........tis the season of hope....the season of miracles......so it's only fitting that I write this blog on Christmas Day.......Santa, I'm awaiting my Christmas miracle.......and I know......I know.......that Tyler and Parker are on the Nice list!!!!!