zero

September 25th

In my opinion the number zero has always gotten a bad rap. People always view it as the bottom of the barrel.......the lowest you can go.......well let's start with the math geek explanation of how wrong this is......okay..... I'll admit.....as a math teacher, if I give a kid a zero on a test we're looking down the hopeless end of a pretty dark and dismal tunnel.....it doesn't get a lot worse....BUT....outside of the world of tests, zero is not the bottom.....it's not the lowest you can go......come on, don't any of you out there remember negative numbers?!?!?!? You see, as a well trained Chico State math geek (okay no wise cracks about my Alma mater!!! I'll have you know that CSU Chico is a fine academic institution.....it just happens to have the best of both worlds.....not only did I receive a quality education, but I got to witness the riots up close and personal as well.....now, where else can you get a well rounded education like that!!!....but once again I digress...) as a well educated Chico State math geek, I've always seen the number zero as being exactly in the middle....positive numbers on one side and negative numbers on the other.....you see, you all have just been raised to be prejudice.....that's right.....you're all negative number haters!!!!!....completely ignoring the entire other half of the number line.....you oughta be ashamed of yourselves!!!!perpetuating such a numerically biased view of the world......what did the left side of the number line ever do to you!!! huh!!!.....nothing that's what.....but yet you still see the world in such a prejudicial myopic way......no wonder we're on the verge of this contries second great depression......if only you'd acknowledge the negative numbers you'd understand how our government has spent so much more money than we actually have!!!....uh...oh......I crossed that line......it political.....quick.....back to the nonsensical, non threatening world of confusing yet cute tangents that resemble incoherent rants!!!!.....whew......catasrophe avoided!!! Even in every day speech the number zero gets a bad rap....."you're such a zero" would be a stinging barb that would wound someone to the core......and then there's the really random quote from Eddie Murphy's Delirious that almost no one will get..."Mr. Murphy, would you like to do the next problem on the board?? Uh...no thanks, man....I'll take the zero" Acne, chicken pox, mumps and even ring worm all manifest themselves in the form of a zero.....it's a conspiracy I tell you!!! Poor little zero....well I'm here to present the absolutely positive news of the day....and it is......da da da da da da da da da....that's my drum roll, for those of you who haven't been with us since the beginning......today, my son's are zero days old!!!!!! That's right...as of today the boys are zero days old......that means that today is there original due date!!! I know I know, some of you daily readers are protesting right now....your saying that I'm cheating.....I'm repeating a blog.....we've already been down that path.......you're looking back right now at the blog entry entitled "came and went" and screaming "John's a fraud...I knew it....this whole thing is a hoax.....there is no Parker and there is no Tyler......I've been duped.....there is no great pumpkin Charlie Brown.....I missed it.....I sat here all night in this stupid pumpkin patch with you waiting for the Great Pumpkin and he never came!!!! AHHHHHH how could I be sooo stupid!!!" Well, while I can't prove the existence of the Great Pumpkin....or the lock ness monster....or Big Foot for that matter, I can assure you that you have not been duped by the myth of our little heroes.....I can assure you that the past 94 days of your "sitting in the pumpkin patch" have not been in vein....alas our little heroes are, in fact, real!!! You see the previous entry entitled "came and went" referenced the original date that the boys were supposed to be brought into this world.....you see, our doctor decided long ago that, at 38 weeks, if the boys were still chillin' in the mommy incubator, that she would take them both by C-Section...........we all know how jinxed that prediction was now don't we. You see, that was their 38 week, take em early cuz their twins date......that was supposed to be the date that we brought them into the world......HOWEVER, today is their actual due date.....the 40 week gestation due date......today is the day they were supposed to be fully cooked brownies ready to gobble up......SO WHAT??? SO WHAT you might be inquiring.....no offense taken if you are actually thinking that.....cuz....honestly.....I would be too.....in fact I'd be sitting there reading this blithering rant saying to myself not only so what but also "what the hell is the point" and " I can't believe I'm still reading this" and "where the hell is Heather with the great pics and quick reads that we've come to love in this idiots absence.....but no, I'm still reading" Yeah, I might be saying that too.....but I'm not.....cuz I'm writing it.....so why the big deal?? Here's why (finally....I know). You see my two little soldiers are doing well these days....yipee....yes, tyler is back on CPAP, but Heather and I are both okay with that as we have tremendous faith that it is a small setback that is surmountable.....you see both boys are at least past the half way mark to coming home......we may even be lucky enough to be spending Halloween with them at home...we'll see....we are just pretty darn pleased with their progress lately and the fact that we get to hold them so much more than before......here's the kicker though.....we still don't know how significant any neurological or physiological damage has been done......and we won't for some time. There are theories and vague guesses, but we simply won't know until later when they begin making/missing certain benchmarks like rolling over, walking etc. You see there are certain general time frames that they should be doing specific things......it's these time lines that make today so incredibly important. You see (I use that phrase a lot don't I.....hmmmmm) these benchmarks are based, not on their actual age from birth, but rather from their adjusted age based on their due date. This makes today critical. For example, on December 23rd they will technically be six months old, but as far as where they should be developmentally they will only be three months old......and for anyone who has ever had kids, you know that the difference between a three month old and a six month old is monumental to say the least. Now do you see why today is such a critical day??? I know, I know, I could have gotten my point across in a much much shorter amount of time and words......but then you wouldn't miss Heather's blogs quite as much :):):) Today, the age of my boys is zero.......and that to me is a very positive thing.....to me, zero, means that my boys have survived the first three months of a tumultuous hard fought life that could've ended in tragedy at any moment.....to me zero means that they are beginning to not only survive, but that they are also beginning to thrive......to me zero means that life begins with new hope, new laughs and new optimism......to me.....at least for today......zero is a very happy very positive number!!!!!!