Carpe' Diem

September 3rd

One of my favorite mantra's in life is Carpe' Diem which translates into "seize the day", in other words, "live for today for there may be no tomorrow". I've always liked it, but it really gained new meaning to me after seeing the Robin Williams movie Dead Poet Society. If you haven't seen this one, put it on the "must see" list. Robin Williams has made some really lame movies in his time, but this one will force you to gain a tremendous amount of respect for him as an actor. Of course you can't adopt the mantra completely.......let's be real.....if you did, you'd be a homeless burden on society. You have to take the spirit of it while still keeping a firm grasp on reality. The mantra paid off for Heather and me yesterday. We both left the NICU feeling really really good. We each had a two hour hold with boys who were absolutely the most content they had ever been. It was one of those long visits that just seemed to really give you hope that everything may.....just may......be working out. Let me pause to dispel the conclusion that you may be jumping to......nothing bad happened today.......just wanted to get that out up front so that you didn't start to fret (what a cool word "fret" is......I think I'm going to start using it a lot more......beware!!!!:):)). Today's visit wasn't traumatic by any stretch of the imagination. It just happened to be somewhat more "back to normal" than yesterday. Today the boys were pretty unsettled. There was something in the air in the Koala room........neither boy could get settled in. Our holds didn't last very long as the boys weren't tolerating it very well. Neither boy could get settled in and comfortable....in fact they were both just pretty cranky. This, unfortunately, is more the norm than the exception. Standing bedside, gently talking to them, trying to get them to stop crying and fidgeting was the norm of the visit today......after our brief holds that is. This is what made yesterday so special. Both Heather and I, yesterday, made sure to bask in the glow of how magical our visit was. We left the NICU and could not stop commenting on how great the visit was......we had seized the moment and didn't let it slip away......we relished in it all the way home. Today brought back a little dose of reality, but sprinkled still with optimism......It wasn't a bad day by far.....it just wasn't yesterday.