Came and went

September 18th

Last Friday came and went......just like any other day......there was work......there was the drive to the NICU......there was family time in the Koala room......it came and it went like any other day.....but it wasn't......it wasn't just any other day.......it was a very special day.......but it slipped past us without pomp....without circumstance......it was supposed to be a very big day.....but it wound up being just like any other. For the vast majority of the time for the past three months I have been living in the moment.....dealing with life on an as needed moment at a time basis....once in a while......in a great while..... my mind allows me to view things from the outside in.....I find myself looking at the breadth of my life rather than the individual circumstances that I'm currently dealing with......I must admit, it's a very strange phenomenon. I thrive on routines....when looking from the outside in it becomes really strange to realize what the current routine is. Traveling each day back and forth to the hospital, visiting my two little heroes in the Koala room.....it all seems really strange when you look at it from the outside in, but for me it is my routine.....my normal. Holding the boys, finding out and celebrating what new advancements they've made (however minuscule they may be), talking with the nurses, these are all part of my routine.......I guess that's why last Friday came and went without much notice. You see, Heather and I had September 12th burned into our brain quite some time ago.....this was the day that we would become parents......this was the original due date for Tyler and Parker to join the world!!!! This was the date that they would have been thirty eight weeks old in the womb and therefore was the scheduled date to bring the boys into the world. Well, technically they were 38 weeks on Thursday, but the doctor suggested that bringing them into the world on Sept. 11th would probably be a bad thing so she scheduled their arrival a day later on the 12th. It is just really very strange to think that the boys should have only arrived six days ago. It seems as if they have been with us forever......it seems like a lifetime ago that Heather was pregnant and we knew nothing of the NICU at UCD. It is just really hard to wrap my head around the fact that last three months were supposed to be very very different. It's hard to think about only knowing the boys for six days. It's hard to think of life any other way than what it is right now.....any other way than the daily routine that we are in......any other way than what life is right now. I guess that's why the date that loomed so unbelievably enormous for us at one point in our life simply came and went and was barely noticeable. It's hard to believe......