Not Waiting Until We Grow Old

July 28 midnight

In just under two weeks Heather and I will celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary. We have always known that we will grow old together. Thoughts of sitting on a porch on a cool summer evening rocking away in comfortable chairs may be the picturesque way to envision our twilight years. Well, apparently those years are already upon us.....sort of......you see there was a time today that Heather and I found ourselves quietly staring at each other as we spent a peaceful hour rocking away in rocking chairs......there was no cool summer evening breeze and we weren't on a porch......however, this moment is sure to rival, if not be better than, any moment we will experience later in life. You see, today's moment of serenity came in the UCD NICU as we both, yes both spent an hour sitting in a rocking chair with our sons. Ty and Park have adjusted so well to the CPAP ( it didn't hurt also that our neighbor Mary was on duty today taking care of both boys.....and she seemed almost as giddy as we were at the prospect that each of us would be able to hold a boy:):)) that not only was Parker able to be held, but Tyler was also!!! So today I found myself sitting in a rocking chair holding Tyler and looking over at my beautiful wife as she did the same thing with Parker......it was a great way to kill an hour:):) Things aren't all perfect however. The problem with CPAP is that they have a tendency to not stay in the right position. The little prongs pop out of their little tiny noses quiet often. This is, apparently, very common.....and trust me.....as much of a pain in the butt it is and as much as it seems to irritate their little nostrils and turn them red......it is still ten thousand times better than having them intibated!!! It is much more high maintenance for the nurses, but they seem to look past it and seem to be genuinely excited as well despite the increase in work it creates for them. The "episodes" they have now are called the A's and B's. A is for apnea and B is for bradycardia Apnea for breathing and bradycardia for low heart rate. So they are still so small and are so used to the vent breathing for them, that they simply forget to breathe. You can see why this would be a problem. As they forget to breathe their heart rate quickly follows and begins to drop very quickly. All of sudden they desat and have their heart drop plummet. We've been told that this is very common for micro-preemies at this stage in development who are on CPAP. It happened to Parker a couple of times today. Now I'm not sure why, but it doesn't seem to scare me nearly as much as it sounds like it should. Don't get me wrong, it is still very unnerving to look at your son's O2 levels to drop into the 40's while his heart rate drops below 100. I don't know if I've just become used to it, or if their advancements have helped me to believe they are stronger now and thus more apt to handle it, or if I'm just more comfortable with the nurses handling it, but I don't find myself in such a panic when it happens now. It still scares the hell out of me, but just not quiet as much. Bottom line is they are doing better and I guess my sub-conscious is allowing me to relax more. Holding them really helped as well. It was a great day....and I'll live in this moment for now!!! Multiple great days in row are starting to string themselves together......quick, knock on wood so I don't jinx it:):) There are some great pics below!!!