Calm vs Dark

August 17 8:45 pm

Is it the Calm before the Storm or is the Darkness Before the Dawn. I know what I hope it is, but you never know what's coming next in the NICU. You see, there just isn't much to report on today, nor has there been for a couple of days. The boys are sort of in a holding pattern. Tyler's feeds went up to 30 from 28. Parker's vent was turned down from 20 to 18, but nothing else really significant is happening. Both boys continue to battle. They have their typical daily struggles with keeping their oxygen up for any length of time. They will desat periodically.....usually bringing themselves out of it, but occasionally needing some nurses assistance. I know (and by know, I mean I've been told) that there will be a time when they are just feeding and growing......I get that.......they will need time to just grow more and develop before they come home......but that is after they have gotten off of CPAP....needless to say getting off of the breathing tube......so I don't know if right now is the dark before the beginning of the dawn and the light at the end of the tunnel or if it is the calm before the storm......the lull before we get some bad news.......only time and all my patience will tell. Don't get me wrong....I am thankful that there aren't any major relapses right now....especially seeing some of the other sick babies, I am often thankful that they seem to be doing pretty well......it's just difficult to see them constantly struggle....Parker with a tube down his throat that he seems to be constantly choking on and Tyler with the CPAP device which drives him crazy and hurts his little nose. I know some day this will all be a faded memory......but for now.........well, I will look deeper into the reserves of patience......there had better be some more left in that tank:):):) Sorry no pics today.......I just didn't really take any.